June 10, 1972 - Remembering Memorial Day 1972

I have got to record what a perfect weekend Doug and I had here 2 weeks ago Memorial Day, 1972. I will never forget it. He was so great a companion and we had as much fun together, walking, talking, hiking back to Baptism Falls on Sun. with his new bright orange backpack heavily on his back and, for a spell on mine, cooking, eating & cleaning up together, clowning around & laughing and Doug's unexpected spurting shows of affection and our warm touching & companionable "good-nights" in the darkness of the cooling cabin with the full moon sponging the black water & the gentle water sounds coming thru our window. We walked along the road enjoying the birds & flowers and the railroad tracks which we walked back along. Doug doing a fast little one-tie step running while stepping on each & every railroad tie while I tried unsuccessfully to find a stride that worked - put my feet evenly on every other tie. We (I think it was mutual) felt as close and happy together in this place doing our thing that it was all very precious to me - a threasured memory of a wonderful & feeling, loving & fun-feeling 14 year old boy. My boy, my only repository for my love in this whole damned world, my son whom I feel so lost, so taken away, from - but no one & no thing can take him away from me - can erase the joy I feel at the sight, at the thought of him - that is eternal & omnipotent - and only mine. It is something for which I would trade nothing - not everything would I take for what he has been & is to me.