April 17, 1970

I went to a movie alone tonight - the first time I have ever gone alone. The Arrangement - not a good movie but it touched me and I came home crying. Crying why? Crying in my crippledness, crying for all the sadness, hurt & confusion in people & myself.

But I lingered in the yard & felt the cool springness of the night air, threw my head back & smiled at the high white 3/4 moon oozing pale light all over the sky - laying in a pale chiffon layer all over the black, and small cloud patterns moved across the field of my watery vision. I am here now in my aloneness and I'm aware, it fits better now. I am more comfortable in it. I truly am. I feel a difference and it is freedom & peace & an opening up of doors.

Here I am, me, and no one else. Not much but yet much more than nothing.